Mechanics of the Mind

In life, we are constantly buffeted by winds of joy and sorrow. We are pushed in different directions by our minds. Both sorrow and happiness are just two extremes. When we are sad our minds are pushed to a negative low. If we give free rein to our minds then we get thoughts that tend to magnify our worries and sorrows. The mind cooks new doomsday scenarios. Joy is just another extreme. We are pushed into a positive high. While joy is welcome too much of it is also quite dangerous. While we can sit back and enjoy the ride when we are happy we should not get too carried away. Otherwise, the world takes on a nice pink hue and we fail to see the world for what it really is. After all joy also is just a state of mind.

What is more appropriate is to maintain a sense of mental equilibrium regardless of whether we feel pain or happiness. There has to be s certain sense of detachment towards our mental states. This way we will not feel let down when our positive high ebbs.

Our minds can be likened to cotton candy machine. In the cotton candy machine we put in sugar and coloring material into sugar bowl into the bottom. The spinning cotton candy machine coupled with the intense heat produces wooly candy. Similarly our hopes, desires, wishes or fears are the ingredients to the mind which is constantly spinning. The mind creates thoughts from our innermost feelings and wishes. If we tend to be afraid thee mind will automatically generate fearful thoughts and create situations which will produce more anxiety. Similarly when are tend to gloat over our successes the mind throws thoughts which try to substantiate the feelings of pride. We soon tend to go overboard with thoughts of our own self-importance.

However our minds are truly remarkable instruments and can serve us immensely if we understand the mechanics of the mind. When we are faced with a tough problem in life we can throw this problem into the cotton candy maker of the mind. After we spend an adequate amount of time wrestling with the problem we can just park the problem in our candy maker. Given some time the mind will continue to spin and work the problem out on its own. Similarly if we are interested in any creative activity like writing, playing an instrument or painting the mind is truly capable of real creativity. We however have to teach our brains by practicing the skill we are interested in. Buried deep in the recesses of our brain are our neatly organized ideas, rules coupled with innumerable associations and correlations of what is good and what is beautiful. The spinning mind can constantly throw up new and interesting combinations.

If we put in the right ingredients and ideas into our candy maker and let our mind do what it does best we will have truly discovered the fount of creativity.

Uncovering Morality through the Mahabharata - Part 2

Arjuna’s despondency
When the Pandavas return after their exile from the forest after 13 years and try to reclaim what is rightly theirs they are only met with stout denial by Duryodhana. Lord Krishna tries to negotiate a settlement where the Kuaravas would only need to part with 5 villages to Pandavas. But even this meager request results in a refusal by Duryodhana. Finally after much deliberation Yudhisthra as the eldest amongst the Pandavas declares war.

On the day of the war with both armies standing impressively facing each other Arjuna whose chariot is driven by none other Lord Krishna himself suddenly is overcome with mental anguish. Arjuna the great and courageous warrior goes through intense emotional turmoil. He is not able to come to terms with the violence of war where he would have to kill the Kauravas who are his own cousins. Besides the Kaurava army also has in its ranks the venerable Bhishma and Drona who have taught him all the necessary lessons of life along with the skills of warfare. This is an important juncture in the Mahabharata where the epic balances human emotions of compassion against the needs of justice. It is as this point Lord Krishna sings the inimitable and ineffable song of the Gita. Lord Krishna reiterates that man must perform his duty without attachment to the results of his work. He should look at joy and suffering with equanimity. The Gita also expounds that behind the material body is the indestructible soul or the Atman which is eternal in nature.

Arjuna is finally convinced when he witnesses Lord Krishna’s divine form and starts to fight for dharma or justice. The war results in victory for the Pandavas. However, the Pandavas are able to overcome Bhishma, Drona and Karna only through devious means. The Mahabharata brings into its narrative a human element of frailty. It clearly shows that even the virtuous Pandavas are not superhuman. Besides it brings into question again the issues of ends versus means. What is dharma? Does it represent something that should be beyond individual interests? Should one subordinate individual interests to the larger interest of the people?
The war ends with victory for the Pandavas. However, even the Pandavas army is destroyed by the wrath of Aswatthama leaving only the five Pandavas with widows and an empty kingdom.

Yudhisthra rather than rejoicing in his victory is tormented by the Pyrrhic victory which resulted in a lot of bloodshed. Again the Mahabharata does not glorify the victors nor belittles the vanquished. The Mahabharata does make one to reflect deeply on what is right and what is wrong. Given the virtues of truthfulness, compassion, ahimsa, charity what should be the most appropriate course for an individual be?

Uncovering Morality through the Mahabharata - Part 1

The Mahabharata, the ancient Indian epic, has endured for more than 5000 years. The Mahabharata is truly a classic which embodies eternal truths that will live on forever. The Mahabharata differs from Greek Mythology which are tales of adventure and exploits of Greek Gods and heroes in many ways. The Mahabharata besides including in it rich tales of adventure also weaves in its account eternal and timeless moral concepts.

The Mahabharata tries to handle the delicate issue of karma and dharma in the lives of its characters. There are so many lessons that are captured vividly in those tales that the Mahabharata leaves the reader trying to tussle with these difficult concepts in his own mind.

The central theme of the Mahabharata is the war for justice in Kurukshetra between the virtuous Pandavas (with the divine presence of Lord Krishna) and the Kauravas led by Duryodhana. The war is rightly termed as dharmayuddha or the battle of justice by Lord Krishna. Duryodhana is a scheming, cunning king who is jealous of the valor of the Pandavas and cheats the Pandavas of their kingdom through deceit and trickery. He invites Yudhistra to a game of dice and cheats him of his kingdom.

The Pandavas spend 13 years in exile after which they are supposed to get back their kingdom but Duryodhana stoutly denies giving their half back. The Pandavas are unwilling to fight and are willing to settle for just 5 mere villages. However, Duryodhana is stubborn and is unwilling to concede anything. Finally the Pandavas reluctantly go to war against the Kauravas as a last resort. The Pandavas are aware of horror of the war but are forced into it in order to reclaim what is rightly theirs. The Mahabharata does dwell on Yudhistra’s unwillingness to fight.
Similarly in the battlefield when the two armies are arrayed against each other with their conch shells blaring, Arjuna another valiant hero of the Pandavas has a moral crisis. He is unable to understand how the killing of his teachers and sages, among the enemy ranks, whom he so venerates, can be considered as a winning. He wants to put down his arms. The Mahabharata highlights the human issues that are involved with utter clarity and brings this despondency of Arjuna at a critical juncture.

It is then that Lord Krishna clarifies the situation where he states that the process of dharma or the need to uphold justice sometimes requires that evil be stamped out with authority. It is here that Lord Krishna’s celestial song Gita to Arjuna is rendered.

The dharmayuddha does raise the question as to what is the right course of action. One could argue that war, though violent, is required in order to eradicate evil. It leaves the reader with questions as whether virtuous ends justify violent means. Would it be right to say that dharma is upheld when the greatest good is done to greatest number?

The Mahabharata through the many tales tries to weave an intricate pattern of moral issues involved in day to day life. The interesting aspect to the Mahabharata is that the epic provokes the reader to deep thinking on moral issues.

The Essence of Charity

If there is one quality that is essential to the character of man it is the virtue of charity. Nothing is more important than the ability to give and give wholeheartedly. Charity truly elevates the giver.

There is an interesting tale in the Mahabharata, an ancient Indian epic, which highlights the essence of charity. When King Yudhistra was appointed king he performed great acts of charity by giving food and gifts to the poor and needy besides performing great rituals. People spoke very highly of the charitable acts of the king. One day while the king was performing these acts of charity a mongoose whose one half of the body was golden came to the assembly and rolled on the ground. After some time the mongoose gave up and said that the charity of the King was not all that great. This brought about a stunned silence in the court.

When the mongoose was asked why it had made such a statement it recalled its experience a few years back. The mongoose told the story of an extremely poor family, whose members had not eaten for a few day, had one day received a small bag of wheat flour. The wife made some bread for the family and just when they were about to eat a guest comes to their house. When the father of the household learns that the guest is hungry, he gives away his portion of the food to the guest. Since the guest is still hungry the mother and the son also give away their portions of bread to the guest. The guest goes away satisfied but the entire family dies due to hunger. It appears that the mongoose which was around this area happened to roll on the ground where there were a few grains of flour. The flour was so sanctified by the charitable act of the family that half of the body of the mongoose turned a golden color.

The mongoose said that since then it has been roaming the earth to witness an equally charitable act to turn its other half of the body golden. When the assembly heard they were dumbstruck and realized the value of true charity.

Generosity does not depend on the monetary value but more on the intention to help and serve.

There is another interesting tale of Bodhidharma, a Buddhist monk, who lived during the 5th/6th century and transmitted Zen. Once he was asked by the Emperor Wu "What is the karmic merit I have earned for building monasteries and performing other charitable acts?". To which Bodhidharma was supposed to have said "Absolutely none, whatsoever. Good deeds done with selfish intent bring no merit."

By far the greatest act of charity is the virtue of forgiveness, the ability to pay back with goodwill to an act of transgression. As Shakespeare states, "Mercy is twice blest. It blesses him that gives and him that takes"

Charity must be done without any expectation. We should not even expect gratitude.
We should not feel that we are doing something noble. Charity does not mean only mean monetary assistance. It could also mean sharing of knowledge or giving moral support.

The virtue of charity requires us to be selfless while the performing the act. We should give from our hearts and expect nothing in return.

Charity is not determined by its magnitude but the magnanimity with which it is delivered.

True Achievement

Mankind from time immemorial has always sought for attention. We crave for the attention and recognition of others. When we say or do something we internally hope that we get appreciation, hear some kind words or get a pat on the back for our work. We live our lives based on the opinions of others.

According to Alain De Botton our sense of identity is held hostage to the opinions of others. In other words our self worth, to a large extent, depends on what others say and think of us. Why should this be so? This kind of approach to life is fraught with danger as we are bound to be easily hurt if somebody says something unkind to us.

One's sense of dignity and self worth should be based on doing what one wants, how one wants and achieving the progress one wishes for. We should feel a warm glow from the fact that we achieved something dear to our hearts, in a manner that really appealed to us. Any additional praise or appreciation we get from others is definitely a bonus.

So in life, we need to identify those things we are passionate about and go about accomplishing them to our own satisfaction. While a certain amount of validation from an external source is necessary it should not be our only and main concern. We should only be keen to reaching the end goal that we wanted. That will give us the satisfaction and the contentment that it deserves.

We need to set goals for ourselves and honestly achieve it through our own efforts. Our self worth should be based on things that we have truly achieved rather than being based on praises from others.

We really don't need external validation but if it comes our way that is definitely a plus. While the opinions of others are important they should neither deter us from doing something nor determine what we do in life.

The Gita's middle path

According to the ancient Indians there are 4 goals in any human beings life. They are ‘kama’ or the pursuit of pleasure, ‘artha’ or the pursuit of material wealth, ‘dharma’ or achievement of just ends and ‘moksha’ the attainment of liberation. This was the prevalent idea during the Vedic ages.

However the Gita gives a much more balanced approach to life. The Gita states that kama or desire is the cause of all unwanted suffering. The Gita enjoins us to perform actions in a selfless way without any ulterior motive or the desire for fruits of the action. This is known as “niskama karma” or desireless action. With a little thought we understand the depth of this idea. Clearly unnecessary attachment to the material world bring along with it unnecessary heartbreaks. We are neither supposed to be overjoyed at good tidings nor be heartbroken when something bad happens.

Secondly the Gita requires us to have just adequate material possessions to get on in the world, The Gita does not glorify a life of asceticism nor a life of wanton profligacy. The Gita requires us to follow a middle path where our wants are just met.

The ideal way according to the Gita to live a life filled with sattvic qualities of moderation and charity. The path of right living according to the Gita is life of work, filled with devotion to the Supreme, transcending dualities of pain and pleasure and performing charity without expectation of any reward.

The Gita is truly profound and eternal truth passed to us from ancient times.

Recognizing the Force Within

Our lives are less than perfect. We would like our lives to be one way but it generally turns out another way. Sometimes our friends are nasty to us, our spouses irritate us, and our bosses tend to ignore us when we are due for promotions or raises. We seem to have a lot of issues all the time. However the important thing is that we should not let these issues perturb us.

We need to look at each issue in its context and address it as we see fit. After that we should not let them continue to bother us. We should not let these petty issues nag us constantly. There is no point in fretting and fuming over trivialities.We need to consciously turn away from these issues and focus on more important things in life.

Deep within us are embedded our fondest hopes, wishes and ambitions. We need to look inward and recognize these dreams of ours and concentrate our efforts in realizing them. Rather than wasting time in worrying about petty things that did not work in ways we wanted we should nurture and works towards achieving things that we can..

For example, if we harbor dreams of becoming an accomplished musician we should spend time practicing and learning to play the instrument better. If we wish to become a writer we could do all that is necessary in learning to write well. We should spend our energies in trying to achieve things that we want rather than frittering away our energies in useless worries and wishful thinking. We should look at where we are in life and where we wish to be and work towards that.

While this may seem obvious, all too often we spend worrying and getting angry about things that we have little control over. We cannot change the way people behave as everybody is different and have their own priorities in life. Rather than being influenced with the way things happen to us we should channelize our entire energy to accomplishing that we always wanted to do. There is an indomitable force that lies buried inside us. We only need to recognize this force and give it shape. If we do this, not only will be more content with our lives but will also accomplish a lot more.

The Many Faces of Truth

All of us get introduced to Truth during our early years. We are told that honesty and truth is the best policy. Truth in this context is to tell reality as it happened. It is quite understandable why this is so. The fragile fabric of society would just crumble if we did not speak truth and people prevaricated as a habit. There would be a lot of ambiguity in our day to day affairs and we would never know what really transpired.

 

But as we grow up we learn that there are more shades of grey to truth than appears to us at first sight. In my opinion it more important to be tactful in life than be truthful. It does not make sense to be brutally honest about something. We could state the same thing in much more gentler terms with a greater regard to sense and sensibility.

 

In one of India's ancient epics, the Mahabharata, there is a story about a band of robbers questioning a sage whether he had seen a witness to their crime running away. The sage who was more worried about speaking the truth (satya) tells the robbers about the whereabouts of the witness. The robbers appropriately apprehend the witness and exterminate him. The Mahabharata goes on to say that the sage eventually suffered hell (naraga) for causing the death of an individual when he might have couched the truth in terms that would not have given any information away.

 

While truth is important, I think truth takes a second place in comparison to kindness or compassion. In my opinion it is more important to kind than to be correct and truthful.

Truth needs to be looked at from the perspective what is more appropriate in any given situation. We cannot just say nor do things because it is so but we also need to look at the overall effect of the act.

 

While truth is important in the overall scheme of thing, ones actions should be directed towards the greatest good towards the greatest number. In this context truth will have to be weighed against other virtues of kindness, compassion and tolerance.

The Importance of Consistency

One key ingredient that is required for success in life is consistent effort. Effort by itself does not achieve much. However sustained effort over a long period of time will definitely bring its reward.  We have to persist in our efforts only then will be see the fruits of our actions.

 

For example if we wanted to become an accomplished player in any musical instrument we must make sure we practice every day. It is not enough to spend long hours in bursts. We need to practice regularly. Similarly if we want to excel in writing skills we must allot some time to writing on a daily basis. We should not adopt the attitude of waiting for divine inspiration before writing.  If we make writing a regular habit where we allot certain hours of the day for writing then pretty soon we will become good at it. We will get more ideas as we write more often. If we want to improve our general health we must ensure that we exercise regularly. There are a few who exercise is bursts and get upset when they don't see results. The secret to good health is constant and regular exercise.

 

Whichever field we look to and whatever we want to achieve can only be obtained through a consistent and sustained effort for long periods of time. There may be occasions when such a ritual will appear distasteful. But if we keep doing it we will slowly start noticing our own improvement in the skill and we will start to get into the flow.

 

We are generally awed when we watch an artiste perform on stage or a professional player play with such power and grace. We must understand that to reach that stage perfection he or she must have gone through many, many hours of consistent and regular practice. Behind all successful people there are years of rigorous practice.

 

This in essence is the secret mantra for success and achievement in life. To put it succinctly we could say that "Consistency breeds competency".

INWARDi

The Art of Getting Lucky

All of us spend a good part of our lives in envying people who are successful in life. We generally attribute success in anybody's life to be in large part to his or her luck. But, is that true? Is there a way we   can get lucky? By getting lucky, I don't mean winning the lottery. What is meant, by being lucky, is being more successful in life.

As a matter of fact we can increase the chances of being successful or becoming more fortunate. The key here is luck only comes your way if you make way for it. We need to take proactive steps in life to ensure our chances for success.

One of the steps that we need to take is to learn new skills that will be useful in our professional lives. We need to proactively take up some creative activity in life. Learning will not only hone our skills but also give us that little edge when it comes to promotions in office

We also need to network with a lot more of our colleagues and generally become visible in office life. We have to necessarily increase our circle of friends, colleagues and well wishers. This is extremely important for the present and will also serve as a cushion in times of crises.

Besides, we also need to put a little bit of our earnings on a regular basis for our and our children's future. It is not necessary to speculate but saving a little regularly over a long period.

Finally we need to make sure that we keep ourselves physically and mentally fit through regular exercise. We need to be healthy to be able to enjoy any windfall that comes our way.

If we take these little steps and pro-actively do activities then we definitely increase our chances of success. Providence only favors the prudent

In other words we need to take little steps to plant seeds or start creative endeavors in the present. This in turn will enable our chances of getting lucky or hitting something big in the future. This in essence is "The Art of Getting Lucky".

Uncommon Common Sense

If there is one thing we all tend to ignore in life, it is common sense. While all of us are endowed with this faculty right from our births, most of us never have occasion to use it. We generally tend to react to   situations rather than using common sense. We just get carried away and react on an emotional plane

However, if we tended to employ common sense more often, our lives will be a lot more peaceful and we will be in better control of our lives. One could say that common sense is the wisdom that is passed to us by our ancestors as a result of their worldly experience. It is programmed into our nature. Common sense is common knowledge as what is practical and right in any given situation.

While it is common knowledge that we need to save for our futures how many of us actually take a conscious effort to set aside some of our personal finances for our future, Some of us do, but there will be many occasions where we tend to splurge without giving much thought on how to save for the future.

Similarly to progress in our professional lives we all know that we need to enhance our skills. But we generally take little effort to make ourselves better. Common sense also dictates that we need to network better with our colleagues in office.

We all know that regular exercise is important not only for our physical well being but also for our mental health. But only a few of us perform this very important ritual in our daily life. We generally tend to eat junk foods and laze around till our bodies issue us with an ultimatum - hypertension or high cholesterol. Common sense requires that we make regular exercise a habit

Most of the choices we need to make in life can be very well done with sound common sense. But unfortunately common sense is most uncommon

Diving into your past

None of us are really poor. We are all wealthy in a certain way. We all have a rich wealth of personal experiences. Our individual experiences are personal to us and nobody can take this away from us. From time to time, we need to dive deep into our past. There are hidden treasures that we can discover if we spend a fair amount of time going over and learning from our past experiences. Hidden in our memories and deepest thoughts are our reactions to different situations in the past, our emotions, where we went wrong and what really worked? In all of this is deep and enduring wisdom. It is all there for us to learn from. We need to forge our way courageously into our future by building on the experiences of the past.

However, we should be careful that we do not spend time regretting things that happened in our past. We should not waste time in wishful thinking. We need to go over each of our experiences from our early childhood. We can look back at our many successes, the numerous failures, the anger and the emotions that we went through and reflect on them. There are hidden nuggets of knowledge and wisdom that is embedded in each of these experiences. A successful person builds on both his/her previous successes and failures. There are invaluable lessons even in failures. Failure, in my opinion is a better teacher than success.

We should necessarily spend a few hours every week walking down memory lane. We can probably renew old friendships, learn from past failures understand where we erred in our reasoning and build upon our past successes.

Real wisdom need not only be obtained from books. Our own individual history and past experience can provide us all the much needed wisdom to get on with life.

To conclude, the map of your future lies is in your past.

Living from Within

As we travel through the seas of life we are constantly assaulted from all sides by criticisms, anger, taunts, and failures. We tend to get upset whenever things don’t go the way we want it to. We tend to react to external situations. However the right way to successful living is “living from within”.

What I mean is that we should live our lives from the inside-out and not from outside-in. Hence living from within requires that we be proactive in our lives. We need to constantly act and determine things in the external world. We should drive things rather than being driven by them. We have to live the world from within ourselves.

Many famous people live this way including Mahatma Gandhi, Thomas Alva Edison or Mother Teresa. All these people had a burning desire within themselves and they went about achieving them. They were not easily put off by temporary failures.
If we adopt this approach we are bound to enjoy our lives better and be more productive in life. If you are overly depressed or hurt by the external world then it only indicates that you do not have any serious plan of action for yourself. As they say, the world can only hurt you if you allow it to. Why should we allow the external world to dictate our emotions and our thoughts?

We need to be able to creatively and actively involve ourselves in this world and achieve things. We have to have a fire in our bellies to achieve things. We are the master of our own fate. Where we go in life is entirely dependent on the seeds we sow in the present. This will only happen if we live from within.

This way we will not only be successful in our lives we will also be happy with our lives.

The Pursuit of Success

If there is one thing we all want in life – it is success. However success means different things to different people. However to a large majority of people success is deemed to be achieved if there is some combination of fame, power and wealth. We generally identify people who have one or more of fame, money and power as successful. We are either envious of those successful according to the terms above or are think about them wistfully.

In my opinion it is not wrong to want to achieve fame, power or money. If you already haven’t got there then you need to look at what needs to be done so that at least you achieve some amount of success in your endeavor. It is quite likely that the approach you currently are pursuing is not delivering the desired results. So the need of the hour is to do something pro-actively to turn the tide in your favor. While you may try your hand at doing something technical it is quite likely that your strengths lie in your ability to manage people. The important thing is to identify your strengths and play to them. That is the key to success. Most of the time, we just plod our way in life, without pausing to reflect on our inherent strengths. If only we look deep within ourselves and identify our key strengths we are bound to have maximum impact. If we take the approach we are bound to have some amount of success in life.

However if we tend to look beyond the narrow definition of success as being made up of fame, power and money we are bound to realize that true success in life does not depend on just the achievement of fame, power or wealth. If we take to moment to reflect for a moment we will realize that it is not just success that we are interested in but the end result of success. We feel that a successful person will bask in a warm and contented feeling. In fact the more we think about this we understand that true success if the ability to feel good at our achievements and get some recognition from people we value most.

Given this situation, instead of aiming for just power, glory and wealth we just need to identify what we value most in life. It could be something simple as playing a musical instrument, writing poetry or doing random acts of kindness. If we know where our passions lie and pursue it wholeheartedly we will definitely feel good.

The success and happiness that is achieved when one follows ones passions is real success.

Chirps II

Working hard in the present is like writing yourself a post dated check

There are times when it is more important to be kind than correct

Good things come our way only if we make way for it.

Providence favors the prudent.

The mind is like a kaleidoscope. There is something new in every turn.

Life is one big work in progress

Humans beings are the only species capable of completely deceiving themselves.

Anger & depression have the ability to bootstrap themselves

Do what you need to do and you will get what you need to get. More or less.

When something wrong has happened and the conscience of all involved parties is clear then truth as a whole fails

Life slips by one day at a time.

The truth lies somewhere between your view of yourself and the world's view of you.

When life doesn't offer opportunities create opportunities in life

Life is a series of puzzles fo us to solve.

We reap only what we sow. Plant some seeds now and harvest in the future.

We may be a hero, victim in our eyes. But in all probability we are a villain in somebody else's eyes.

Don't let the world dictate your emotions for the day. Choose to be content & happy.

Learning should be freed from anxieties, expectations and time

Containing impatience is like trying to hold a balloon under water.Deflate it.

To navigate to success in life - Observe, reflect,proceed.

You can only reach where you are headed towards.

Genuinely become someone in your own eyes regardless of what others see or don't see in you.

Take the first step into the future you dream of

The world is a melting pot of creative ideas.

God's grand plan for the human race from love to hatred,war to peace,creativity to destruction, 

XS96DADEDBBU

Indian Highways - The Hope and the horror

With the development of the golden quadrilateral, India definitely has arrived on the big stage. The golden quadrilateral besides connecting the four corners of the country also has several well developed multi lane highways criss-crossing the country and connecting important nerve centers. It is good to see that Central Government has aggressive plans for constructing 23,477 km this fiscal at the rate of almost 20 km day. Driving on these highways is a fairly pleasant experience and definitely safer than the bus rides of yesteryears.  In those times a single lane used to carry traffic in both directions. In fact, in those days accidents used to lurk around corners.

However these Indian highways hold both promises and perils

The Hope:  With better developed roads there will be development all around.  Hopefully with better infrastructure people will start to move to the quieter suburbs just like in the developed countries. The highway system should pretty soon spawn an entire ecosystem of restaurants, petrol bunks, fast food joints and motels. A good highway system will provide a major incentive to for vacation travel. The government could develop good vacation spots and getaways for vacationers.  There is no dearth of good places to visit in India. The only drawback in most places is that the approach roads to these spots are poorly maintained or there are no good hotels to stay nearby.  Well connected and well maintained roads will infuse new energy to the tourism industry

The Horror:  While there are lots of positives in the privatizing the construction and maintenance of these roads there are certain perils which need to be addressed immediately

1)      Head-on traffic:  While there are very clear dividers across almost the entire stretch of the highway, whenever there is any accident or repair on any section of the road, the traffic is diverted entirely from one side of the road to the other, without warning. It is not uncommon when travelling at high speeds on highways to suddenly see trucks and busses come head-on towards you in the same lane. There are no signs anywhere in the road warning travelers that the next section of the road would have oncoming traffic and vehicles need to use only the left lane. This situation is an accident waiting to happen

2)      Bad drainage system:  While the roads are good, the drainage on some of the roads are not adequate. Hence there are pools of water on either sides of the road and there is every possibility of vehicles hydroplaning on these pools.

3)      Highway patrol: The highway patrol is virtually non-existent on Indian highways. Highway patrols are necessary to ensure that vehicles follow speed limits and warn traffic with appropriate sign-boards when roads are under repair. The Highway patrol would need to inform the traveler that the next section of the highway will need to be shared between ongoing and oncoming traffic and. Patrols are also needed to handle emergency situations like car pile-ups.

So while the move to make world class roads by the government is a commendable, there is lot more that needs to be done for it to be truly world class.

The Mirage of Self Image

We all tend to have a self image of ourselves. While some of us like to think of ourselves as hard working, honest and smart there are others who view themselves as losers and good-for-nothings, It is likely that both these sets of people may be very far from truth. In all probability the picture that we have of ourselves will be far removed from reality.

 

The way our mind work is that we start with some image of ourselves. We then look at all subsequent successes and failures against this backdrop of our mindset. We try to validate everything against our self image we have of ourselves. Every time somebody praises or criticizes us we try to see if it fits with our own sense of self worth. If it does then we take it that we either very good or very bad. We unconsciously tend to ignore anything that does not fit with our mental frame of mind.

 

While there may be an element of truth in what we experience in the external world the real danger is that our mind sometimes tries to perpetuate this self image of ourselves. Every act that we do or intend to do is in some way to validate this little image we hold of ourselves. We start to dwell longer and longer in our thoughts. We see ourselves as as very hardworking, honest or clever. There are others who imagine themselves as either stupid or useless.

 

Our mind is goal-seeking. Every act, every event in some way or other conspires to satisfy this little image that we have of ourselves. In most case it will be untrue. 

 

The important thing is to be able to constant get feedback from our friends and people we trust. We should not be swayed by praises or criticisms that we receive. We just need to concentrate on the task we have at hand.

 

We need to be firmly rooted to the ground. Then we will be more in line with what and who we really are.

The birth of conflict

All human beings are unique. We are all different in our own ways. Each of us carries within ourselves a baggage of biases, opinions and prejudices. We also carry within ourselves our own individual and unique value system. What is downright wrong for one may be well within reasonable limits for another. These individual differences that lie within us are the root cause of all our conflict.

Sometimes we may find somebody is rude and we may wonder why the person does not see it that way. For instance one of your friends may very casually remark that somebody is ugly. We may be outraged and wonder why your friend does not understand that he is being rude. But it could so happen that this friend may just believe that he is being frank and forthright. The difference is that we all have our own individual measuring systems. We measure the world through the scales that we programmed ourselves with. Both us may sincerely believe that we are right. But, in truth both, are partly right.. This is the cause of all conflict in the world. While we believe something should be done one way another person may think otherwise. The interesting things is that the conscience of both are clear. We both feel that we are right.

So is there a truth that is universal? Is there something common upon which all of us can agree upon regardless of the situation? This is very difficult to answer. If there was such a standard then the world would be rid of all problems. But we generally go with what we think is right. This is based on our understanding of the world and our experience of it.

We need to accept the differences in people. We also need to have the maturity to recognize that there are bound to differences in out perception

If we truly understand this we will rid ourselves of unwanted suffering.

Winning Mind's battles

Have you ever faced a situation where the mind sits on a fence and argues both ways? I am sure this happens to all of us many times in our lives. We are caught in a mental bind and our mind thrashes between two extremes. We consciously try to take one position when another part of the mind takes another and acts like a devil's advocate and argues against our reasoning. The same thing happens when we take an opposite view and try to reason for ourselves. For every argument that we put forth our mind comes up with a very convincing counter argument. We keep doing this and tie ourselves into knots without arriving at any valid conclusions.
We could call this phenomenon as mental thrashing borrowing a term from computer technology. By this I mean that one is caught in a bind of yes & no decisions. We are in a fix where we keep oscillating between two extremes and are unable to make up our minds one way or another. We keep entering into a cyclical thought process which leads us nowhere. The real problem is that we can't even stop thinking. There is a real stickiness to the issue that bothers us. Is there a way out of this mental bind? How do we win this battle that rages in our minds?

There are no easy solutions to this problem. One approach that is often suggested is that we just quit thinking, make some snap decision and get it over with. While this easily said, it is very difficult to do.

In my opinion there are two ways we can handle this situation.

The first is to bounce your thoughts with your spouse, a family member or a close friend. Just talking things out aloud will help to clear your mind. Maybe you will come up with the solution yourself by the simple act of voicing your thoughts. Also you may get some good inputs from others who approach the problem differently.

The second approach is to quit the circular thought process. We need to park the issue at the back of our mind. When we do this we stop our logical mind from analyzing and over analyzing the issue. In the bottom of our hearts we probably are aware of the real solution. While our hearts want one thing, our logical mind tries to come with counter arguments. Quitting the logical thought process will allow our minds to look deeper into the conflict and help us to solve the issue.

If even after this we are unable to decide, we just need to take some decisions which will keep our conscience clear. We need to mentally prepare ourselves to handle situations when the decision we take is wrong.

As long as you choose a path that is ethical, and correct within limits of reasonableness you most probably will make the right decision. Even otherwise we just have to accept that to"err is human" and get over with it.

Coming to terms with yourself

There are so many of us who spend a lot of time finding fault with ourselves. We blame all our failures on our lack of skill, lack of knowledge or just plain bad luck. If you really want to get anywhere in life the first person you need to satisfy is yourself. We need to come to terms with ourselves. We need to accept our faults, our weakness and see ourselves for what we are. There is saying that puts it very nicely as "Don't compromise with yourself, you are all you got". There is nothing truer than that.
The important thing is to first learn to accept ourselves. Each of us carry within ourselves our own and individual experiences. Nobody else can take this away from us. We need to look into ourselves deeply and learn all that we can. While we tend to dwell on our failures we need to realize that there is rich learning we can gain from our failures. In fact, failure is a better teacher than success. We just need to identify what make us unique. We all are unique in our own way and we need to make sure that we use this uniqueness of ours to make things better for ourselves and others.

Instead of finding fault with ourselves or trying use our situation in life as an excuse for inactivity, we need to view our experiences in a positive light and take pro-active action and see how our unique experience can help us and others. The rule to follow in life is "When cornered, start exploring the corner". So rather than complaining about our lack of good fortune we need to look at opportunities that the situation presents to us.

There are several instances in real life of people who achieved great things in life against incredible odds. It all lies in our perception of things. Rather than trying to fight against circumstances, we need to adopt the truth in the old Chinese adage which states "Go with the flow".Nobody has a reason for complain too long.

With right action and right attitude there is nothing that cannot be overcome in life.