Thursday, November 24, 2011

Sermon on the Mount - Truly sublime


Jesus Christ’s Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3- 5:48) and (Luke 6:20 – 6:49) is truly sublime in its grandeur. The sermon is awe inspiring and truly majestic in its depth, breadth and philosophical import. The sermon is based on the two fundamental pillars of love and mercy. Christ says that harboring anger against anyone as condemnable as murder itself. One does not need to commit an act to transgress righteous behavior. Evil thoughts by themselves are themselves heinous. Hence hatred, lust, contempt or jealousy is bad in itself. In fact Christ goes on to say “Judge not, lest ye be judged!” We have no right to criticize, pass judgments or opinions about others when we are less than perfect ourselves. There is no point criticizing about the “mote” in another’s eye when you have “beam” in your own eye.

The central point of Christ’s teachings is the need to repay with kindness any act of hatred towards you. This is contrary to the tit-for-tat and the eye for an eye we generally tend to react. For he says “for whosoever smites thy right cheek, turn to him the other also” and give, give freely to anybody who asks anything of you. With regard to charity Christ says “thy left hand should not know what thy right hand is doing”. There is no need to trumpet about one’s generosity and one’s kindness. This is similar to the Gita’s teaching which requires us to involve ourselves in charity without any regard to the expectations or fruits whatsoever.

Where the sermon truly sweeps you off your feet is where Christ asks to instead of loving our neighbor and hating our enemy to “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, pray for those who despise and persecute you”. This is truly contrary to mankind’s years and years of conditioning where we react with animosity towards people we hate. We react with anger to insults and contempt. Christ asks to repay with love and kindness all acts of enmity and hatred.

With regard to forgiveness and mercy Christ’s response to Peter who asks him “how many times should I forgive my brother if he sins against me. Seven times?” To this Jesus says “Seventy times seven”. This is clearly a figure of speech and the crux is that we have to forgive and show mercy always and as many times as needed, simply because “so likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you”. As human beings we err many times in our lives and God forgives us always.

What is really inspiring about the Sermon on the Mount is its all encompassing love and forgiveness that it preaches. Rather than behaving with anger and hatred towards people we hate, as we are programmed to react, we are encouraged to show mercy and behave with love and compassion. It really brings forth our human side of nature. The Sermon on the Mount is truly awe inspiring.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The lost art of listening

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish in their parenting bible “How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk” provide excellent ideas in dealing with children. This book is a must for parents, would be parents and almost anybody interested in understanding the nuances of human nature.

In the book the authors come with the following situation:

Situation 1 (as per book) : Your boss asks you to complete a certain task. But because you are busy doing other things you miss the task completely and are the target for your boss’s outburst the next day.

Situation 2 (mine): Imagine it is you come home tired from office. Now assume that your spouse is interested in going out to a party and you are too tired to respond. You can expect your spouse to turn ballistic.

Situation 3 (mine): You are expecting a promotion in office and are on tenterhooks. But you come to realize that you have been passed over and your colleague who is a few years junior to you gets the promotion. You are completely deflated.

You are bound to be hurting in all the above 3 situations. Let us say that you relate this to a friend of yours. You are bound to get one of the following responses, according to the authors

The advice: This response is probably the one you will least interested in. The responses could be “You should have done your boss’s work first” or “You have to make sacrifices for your spouse” or in the 3rd situation “You did not work hard enough”

The philosophical response: This response could be “We are destined to enjoy or suffer. It is our karma”

The barrage of questions response: In this type of response you could face a volley of questions “Why did you ignore the boss’s request” or “did you not know that you had to go out with your spouse”. It could be “Did you make sure your boss knew your achievements etc.”

The empathic response: The listener may be sighing and say that he feels very sorry for your plight and he wished he/she could change your situation.

However, in most cases, you would not be interested in listening to criticism or even constructive suggestions. Most often what we want when we are hurting is a patient ear. Somebody who just listens to us in silence, probably with a faint acknowledgement accompanied by the nodding of the head. The solutions and advice can come later. We just want the pain to subside before we are ready to listen to anything.

In most cases when somebody pours their troubles to you, watch the signals carefully and respond appropriately. It is not necessary to give advice, be philosophical or even empathic. Just acknowledge the suffering by listening to them completely.

Let us resurrect “the lost art of listening.”