Thursday, December 30, 2010

Living from Within

As we travel through the seas of life we are constantly assaulted from all sides by criticisms, anger, taunts, and failures. We tend to get upset whenever things don’t go the way we want it to. We tend to react to external situations. However the right way to successful living is “living from within”.

What I mean is that we should live our lives from the inside-out and not from outside-in. Hence living from within requires that we be proactive in our lives. We need to constantly act and determine things in the external world. We should drive things rather than being driven by them. We have to live the world from within ourselves.

Many famous people live this way including Mahatma Gandhi, Thomas Alva Edison or Mother Teresa. All these people had a burning desire within themselves and they went about achieving them. They were not easily put off by temporary failures.
If we adopt this approach we are bound to enjoy our lives better and be more productive in life. If you are overly depressed or hurt by the external world then it only indicates that you do not have any serious plan of action for yourself. As they say, the world can only hurt you if you allow it to. Why should we allow the external world to dictate our emotions and our thoughts?

We need to be able to creatively and actively involve ourselves in this world and achieve things. We have to have a fire in our bellies to achieve things. We are the master of our own fate. Where we go in life is entirely dependent on the seeds we sow in the present. This will only happen if we live from within.

This way we will not only be successful in our lives we will also be happy with our lives.

The Pursuit of Success

If there is one thing we all want in life – it is success. However success means different things to different people. However to a large majority of people success is deemed to be achieved if there is some combination of fame, power and wealth. We generally identify people who have one or more of fame, money and power as successful. We are either envious of those successful according to the terms above or are think about them wistfully.

In my opinion it is not wrong to want to achieve fame, power or money. If you already haven’t got there then you need to look at what needs to be done so that at least you achieve some amount of success in your endeavor. It is quite likely that the approach you currently are pursuing is not delivering the desired results. So the need of the hour is to do something pro-actively to turn the tide in your favor. While you may try your hand at doing something technical it is quite likely that your strengths lie in your ability to manage people. The important thing is to identify your strengths and play to them. That is the key to success. Most of the time, we just plod our way in life, without pausing to reflect on our inherent strengths. If only we look deep within ourselves and identify our key strengths we are bound to have maximum impact. If we take the approach we are bound to have some amount of success in life.

However if we tend to look beyond the narrow definition of success as being made up of fame, power and money we are bound to realize that true success in life does not depend on just the achievement of fame, power or wealth. If we take to moment to reflect for a moment we will realize that it is not just success that we are interested in but the end result of success. We feel that a successful person will bask in a warm and contented feeling. In fact the more we think about this we understand that true success if the ability to feel good at our achievements and get some recognition from people we value most.

Given this situation, instead of aiming for just power, glory and wealth we just need to identify what we value most in life. It could be something simple as playing a musical instrument, writing poetry or doing random acts of kindness. If we know where our passions lie and pursue it wholeheartedly we will definitely feel good.

The success and happiness that is achieved when one follows ones passions is real success.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Chirps II

Working hard in the present is like writing yourself a post dated check

There are times when it is more important to be kind than correct

Good things come our way only if we make way for it.

Providence favors the prudent.

The mind is like a kaleidoscope. There is something new in every turn.

Life is one big work in progress

Humans beings are the only species capable of completely deceiving themselves.

Anger & depression have the ability to bootstrap themselves

Do what you need to do and you will get what you need to get. More or less.

When something wrong has happened and the conscience of all involved parties is clear then truth as a whole fails

Life slips by one day at a time.

The truth lies somewhere between your view of yourself and the world's view of you.

When life doesn't offer opportunities create opportunities in life

Life is a series of puzzles fo us to solve.

We reap only what we sow. Plant some seeds now and harvest in the future.

We may be a hero, victim in our eyes. But in all probability we are a villain in somebody else's eyes.

Don't let the world dictate your emotions for the day. Choose to be content & happy.

Learning should be freed from anxieties, expectations and time

Containing impatience is like trying to hold a balloon under water.Deflate it.

To navigate to success in life - Observe, reflect,proceed.

You can only reach where you are headed towards.

Genuinely become someone in your own eyes regardless of what others see or don't see in you.

Take the first step into the future you dream of

The world is a melting pot of creative ideas.

God's grand plan for the human race from love to hatred,war to peace,creativity to destruction, 


XS96DADEDBBU

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Indian Highways - The Hope and the horror

With the development of the golden quadrilateral, India definitely has arrived on the big stage. The golden quadrilateral besides connecting the four corners of the country also has several well developed multi lane highways criss-crossing the country and connecting important nerve centers. It is good to see that Central Government has aggressive plans for constructing 23,477 km this fiscal at the rate of almost 20 km day. Driving on these highways is a fairly pleasant experience and definitely safer than the bus rides of yesteryears.  In those times a single lane used to carry traffic in both directions. In fact, in those days accidents used to lurk around corners.

However these Indian highways hold both promises and perils

The Hope:  With better developed roads there will be development all around.  Hopefully with better infrastructure people will start to move to the quieter suburbs just like in the developed countries. The highway system should pretty soon spawn an entire ecosystem of restaurants, petrol bunks, fast food joints and motels. A good highway system will provide a major incentive to for vacation travel. The government could develop good vacation spots and getaways for vacationers.  There is no dearth of good places to visit in India. The only drawback in most places is that the approach roads to these spots are poorly maintained or there are no good hotels to stay nearby.  Well connected and well maintained roads will infuse new energy to the tourism industry

The Horror:  While there are lots of positives in the privatizing the construction and maintenance of these roads there are certain perils which need to be addressed immediately

1)      Head-on traffic:  While there are very clear dividers across almost the entire stretch of the highway, whenever there is any accident or repair on any section of the road, the traffic is diverted entirely from one side of the road to the other, without warning. It is not uncommon when travelling at high speeds on highways to suddenly see trucks and busses come head-on towards you in the same lane. There are no signs anywhere in the road warning travelers that the next section of the road would have oncoming traffic and vehicles need to use only the left lane. This situation is an accident waiting to happen

2)      Bad drainage system:  While the roads are good, the drainage on some of the roads are not adequate. Hence there are pools of water on either sides of the road and there is every possibility of vehicles hydroplaning on these pools.

3)      Highway patrol: The highway patrol is virtually non-existent on Indian highways. Highway patrols are necessary to ensure that vehicles follow speed limits and warn traffic with appropriate sign-boards when roads are under repair. The Highway patrol would need to inform the traveler that the next section of the highway will need to be shared between ongoing and oncoming traffic and. Patrols are also needed to handle emergency situations like car pile-ups.

So while the move to make world class roads by the government is a commendable, there is lot more that needs to be done for it to be truly world class.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Mirage of Self Image

We all tend to have a self image of ourselves. While some of us like to think of ourselves as hard working, honest and smart there are others who view themselves as losers and good-for-nothings, It is likely that both these sets of people may be very far from truth. In all probability the picture that we have of ourselves will be far removed from reality.

 

The way our mind work is that we start with some image of ourselves. We then look at all subsequent successes and failures against this backdrop of our mindset. We try to validate everything against our self image we have of ourselves. Every time somebody praises or criticizes us we try to see if it fits with our own sense of self worth. If it does then we take it that we either very good or very bad. We unconsciously tend to ignore anything that does not fit with our mental frame of mind.

 

While there may be an element of truth in what we experience in the external world the real danger is that our mind sometimes tries to perpetuate this self image of ourselves. Every act that we do or intend to do is in some way to validate this little image we hold of ourselves. We start to dwell longer and longer in our thoughts. We see ourselves as as very hardworking, honest or clever. There are others who imagine themselves as either stupid or useless.

 

Our mind is goal-seeking. Every act, every event in some way or other conspires to satisfy this little image that we have of ourselves. In most case it will be untrue. 

 

The important thing is to be able to constant get feedback from our friends and people we trust. We should not be swayed by praises or criticisms that we receive. We just need to concentrate on the task we have at hand.

 

We need to be firmly rooted to the ground. Then we will be more in line with what and who we really are.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The birth of conflict

All human beings are unique. We are all different in our own ways. Each of us carries within ourselves a baggage of biases, opinions and prejudices. We also carry within ourselves our own individual and unique value system. What is downright wrong for one may be well within reasonable limits for another. These individual differences that lie within us are the root cause of all our conflict.

Sometimes we may find somebody is rude and we may wonder why the person does not see it that way. For instance one of your friends may very casually remark that somebody is ugly. We may be outraged and wonder why your friend does not understand that he is being rude. But it could so happen that this friend may just believe that he is being frank and forthright. The difference is that we all have our own individual measuring systems. We measure the world through the scales that we programmed ourselves with. Both us may sincerely believe that we are right. But, in truth both, are partly right.. This is the cause of all conflict in the world. While we believe something should be done one way another person may think otherwise. The interesting things is that the conscience of both are clear. We both feel that we are right.

So is there a truth that is universal? Is there something common upon which all of us can agree upon regardless of the situation? This is very difficult to answer. If there was such a standard then the world would be rid of all problems. But we generally go with what we think is right. This is based on our understanding of the world and our experience of it.

We need to accept the differences in people. We also need to have the maturity to recognize that there are bound to differences in out perception

If we truly understand this we will rid ourselves of unwanted suffering.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Winning Mind's battles

Have you ever faced a situation where the mind sits on a fence and argues both ways? I am sure this happens to all of us many times in our lives. We are caught in a mental bind and our mind thrashes between two extremes. We consciously try to take one position when another part of the mind takes another and acts like a devil's advocate and argues against our reasoning. The same thing happens when we take an opposite view and try to reason for ourselves. For every argument that we put forth our mind comes up with a very convincing counter argument. We keep doing this and tie ourselves into knots without arriving at any valid conclusions.
We could call this phenomenon as mental thrashing borrowing a term from computer technology. By this I mean that one is caught in a bind of yes & no decisions. We are in a fix where we keep oscillating between two extremes and are unable to make up our minds one way or another. We keep entering into a cyclical thought process which leads us nowhere. The real problem is that we can't even stop thinking. There is a real stickiness to the issue that bothers us. Is there a way out of this mental bind? How do we win this battle that rages in our minds?

There are no easy solutions to this problem. One approach that is often suggested is that we just quit thinking, make some snap decision and get it over with. While this easily said, it is very difficult to do.

In my opinion there are two ways we can handle this situation.

The first is to bounce your thoughts with your spouse, a family member or a close friend. Just talking things out aloud will help to clear your mind. Maybe you will come up with the solution yourself by the simple act of voicing your thoughts. Also you may get some good inputs from others who approach the problem differently.

The second approach is to quit the circular thought process. We need to park the issue at the back of our mind. When we do this we stop our logical mind from analyzing and over analyzing the issue. In the bottom of our hearts we probably are aware of the real solution. While our hearts want one thing, our logical mind tries to come with counter arguments. Quitting the logical thought process will allow our minds to look deeper into the conflict and help us to solve the issue.

If even after this we are unable to decide, we just need to take some decisions which will keep our conscience clear. We need to mentally prepare ourselves to handle situations when the decision we take is wrong.

As long as you choose a path that is ethical, and correct within limits of reasonableness you most probably will make the right decision. Even otherwise we just have to accept that to"err is human" and get over with it.

Coming to terms with yourself

There are so many of us who spend a lot of time finding fault with ourselves. We blame all our failures on our lack of skill, lack of knowledge or just plain bad luck. If you really want to get anywhere in life the first person you need to satisfy is yourself. We need to come to terms with ourselves. We need to accept our faults, our weakness and see ourselves for what we are. There is saying that puts it very nicely as "Don't compromise with yourself, you are all you got". There is nothing truer than that.
The important thing is to first learn to accept ourselves. Each of us carry within ourselves our own and individual experiences. Nobody else can take this away from us. We need to look into ourselves deeply and learn all that we can. While we tend to dwell on our failures we need to realize that there is rich learning we can gain from our failures. In fact, failure is a better teacher than success. We just need to identify what make us unique. We all are unique in our own way and we need to make sure that we use this uniqueness of ours to make things better for ourselves and others.

Instead of finding fault with ourselves or trying use our situation in life as an excuse for inactivity, we need to view our experiences in a positive light and take pro-active action and see how our unique experience can help us and others. The rule to follow in life is "When cornered, start exploring the corner". So rather than complaining about our lack of good fortune we need to look at opportunities that the situation presents to us.

There are several instances in real life of people who achieved great things in life against incredible odds. It all lies in our perception of things. Rather than trying to fight against circumstances, we need to adopt the truth in the old Chinese adage which states "Go with the flow".Nobody has a reason for complain too long.

With right action and right attitude there is nothing that cannot be overcome in life.

Little steps go a long way

To succeed in life one needs to work on life one little thing at a time. The key to success is to constantly do little things over a long period of time. We need to chip into our future little by little. The key is to do just a wee bit every now and then and to keep at it come rain or sunshine. When we have a constancy of purpose in trying to achieve our goals we are definitely bound to achieve them one day.
Upgrading one's skills: We cannot and should not hope to become experts overnight. If we want to be knowledgeable in any subject we need to make sure that we spend some hours of the day reading up articles and on the subject. If one is learning a musical instrument we need to practice it every day. In the beginning stages doing something regularly may seem a little distasteful. In fact we may feel irritated in doing the same thing over again. But with a little bit of attention to what we do we may find that we are getting better and are making real progress. Once the realization that we are improving dawns on us, we will be motivated to do this more often.

Attention to personal finance: We need to ever so often look at our net-worth. We need to make sure that we put a little saving for our and our family future. We should not indulge in undue extravagances. We need to take concrete steps and plan our investments so that we are provided for in times of personal calamity or in our old age. We have to consistently put away a little money for our future and our children. Little drops do definitely make the ocean.

A little networking: Every now and then send a mail or call up your old friends and colleagues. It is not just a way of sharing notes with each other you never know when you friends will pass on some information that will be crucial to your future. Make sure that you add new friends. Friends and colleague will not only make our lives fuller but will also come to our aid in times of trouble.

A little better: Make sure that you do routine things just a wee bit better. You could try out a new approach to old things and think of ways to excel in your regular activities like responses to emails. Make sure you spend more quality time with the family.

If we plan for things regularly, make sure that we are consistent in following them and just try to do just a little better than before we will soon become adept in the things that we do. We will also live a fuller life.